I give big thanks to small purchases, specifically to my pair
of cherry red American Eagle bike shorts
which I bought online and wore on my run
as I huffed past other joggers who offered smiles
and—upon reflection—looks of concern, which
I only understood at the end of said run
after going inside and catching a glimpse
of my thighs in the aforementioned
cherry red American Eagle bike shorts
and realizing that moisture
is not wicked away by spandex
but absorbed by it.
Specifically in the crotchal region.
Making it appear
to each onlooker
as if
I peed
myself.
Life rarely delivers an unmitigated good.